Petrified

By Yaffa Slurzberg

Originally published in issue 1 of Apikorsis! magazine, April 2020

It’s like all the answers you thought were right, are wrong

The wind knocked out of you

The rug pulled out from under you

My whole world turned upside down and inside out

What, how am I supposed to go on like this?

What is the next step in the abyss of confusion?

What am I supposed to do?

And it’s like out of nowhere

Kind of

Like the lines just thinned more and more, until they were finally crossed

Like the bar just got so low

I finally stepped over

And now I feel like I’m in the deep end and don’t know how to swim

My head under water

Gulping for air

Gulping for truth

What is truth anymore? 

What he says?

What she says?

What this rabbi says?

What this priest says?

What’s even true in this world?

What’s true for me? What do I want? Really? What do I want?

Breathe

You’re alive

You’re here for a purpose, I think? 

I stand here on the precipice of some kind of life changing moment

My foot dangling over the edge

And I’m

Petrified. 

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